Here we go 'round...

My motherfucking doctor has changed my motherfucking taper plan for the fourth motherfucking time. Ok, got the unnecessary profanities out. Yesterday I went to see him, and he decided to take me off of the slow release morphine first and then the Norco... So he switched medicines around, and I am on another new, very detailed taper. The morphine withdrawl will be about two weeks, and then I'll continue reducing the rest of the Norco over the course of three more weeks.

My sleep cycle is deterioriating. Last night I slept in sporadic spurts for no more than an hour at a time. I was lucky if I got four hours in total. I'm starting to wonder if I should just start bunking on the couch since I end up there every morning. I'm in a pretty good amount of pain today-the worst since we've been home. My head is throbbing and I'm so stiff. Since I fell Monday morning, I have been getting flashes in the periphery of my right eye. I thought it was only at night, but this morning it was happening in broad daylight. It's only when I look a certain way, and it's like a little flash of blue lightning. I told Aaron about it and he got freaked out, which only made me panic. I did some internet research, and I think I just need to see an eye doctor...Somehow that does nothing to quell my fear though.

We had counseling yesterday, but I don't feel like going into the details. We were given an assignment, namely me biting my fucking tongue when I want to argue or defend myself. It hasn't even been 24 hours and already, I've had to just zip up five times. Wow.