Clean.

The snow is falling softly on this Easter Morning. I am five days free from any painkillers, and hope that the worst is now over. The withdrawals you see in the movies?? They are real. I can now speak from experience. The pain has been steadily increasing, and I'm having to tough it out and treat with only heat packs and topical ointments. I don't sleep much, and the circles under my eyes magnify how beat down I look. I get angry at life. I want to scream at the god I don't believe in as I sip on an Ensure shake, wishing I could force real food into my body.

I don't know what happens from here. I take it a day at a time. And pat myself on the back for doing what some asshole doctor said couldn't be done.