Carnage

The mood in this country is somber this morning. Cho Seung-Hu, a 23 year old resident alien from Korea was identified as the gunman behind the massacre at Virginia Tech yesterday. I have been following the story, as I'm sure millions are, and I feel such an intense amount of sadness and can't imagine how difficult it must be. All of the major news networks have descended upon this small college town, and quite frankly, many of the journalists are going straight for the jugular. Aren't people angry, they want to know. There was a two hour time lapse between the first shootings and the rampage that followed. Why was nothing done?? Everyone from Nancy Grace (who I'd like to slap) to Paula Zahn to, of course, Bill O'Reilly were demanding answers instead of greiving and allowing due process. It sickens me. The American media is a joke. In fact, America is quickly becoming a joke.

I mourn today for those I don't know. I shake my head and wonder about the human condition.

I deleted my page on myspace yesterday... It felt very strange. I did it because I no longer felt like it represented me accurately. It was a place for me to show off and try to feel good about myself. To pretend that I was just this fun, happy girl looking for friends. And for a while, it worked. But now, all I see is a popularity contest on a major scale that I'm never going to win. If something makes me feel bad about myself, what's the point in engaging in it? Most of the 100 "friends" I had were people I didn't talk to. I was lucky enough to meet a select few who were in my life for a while, and for that I am grateful.

I still don't know what to do about this blog. Right now, it doesn't matter. All I really wanted to do was talk about the tragedy in VA, and I went off on a tangent. But 33 human lives were taken yesterday, and we have a war where troops are dying every day, as well as a fucked up politcal system. For the time being, I just want to engross myself in caring more about that.