Bring It On World!

I'm back from my cram course... God, do they ever pack in a lot of information in 4 days. I'm sore and I'm tired, but I DID it. The instructors advised me to rest my brain today, and not pick up my books until tomorrow... I ignored that advice earlier this afternoon and tried to take some practice tests, but my mind was so overloaded from the week. I wound up in a panic attack, so I promptly shut the books and talked myself down. Even though I am still worried about passing the damn exam, I realized something this week- I am stronger than I give myself credit for. Sure, I've made bad decisions, but I've also learned so much from those mistakes. By simply spending five days away from my husband and doing something as a catalyst for the future changes, I gained some new perspective.

My husband had a similar revelation... Last night when I got home, he had candles lit, music on, and a bottle of wine with snacks set out. We had a long talk about focusing on the blessings in our lives instead of just the worries and the problems. We talked about how we let our negativity and stress feed off of each other and how all that does is cause more discouragement and distress for the both of us. The mind can be a key factor in healing my body. So, I need to keep working on healing from within, because really, that's what is going to get me through. Even if I am in pain for a long period of time, there are ways to improve my quality of life.

I don't often say this, but I'm proud of myself for sticking it out this week. Going in, I didn't think I could handle it, but sure enough, I surprised myself with strength and perserverance.

And it feels good. Actually, it feels fucking fantastic!