On Guard

I have a perpetual need to defend myself. This isn't a new revelation, but recently, I've caught myself explaining my actions or thoughts when it's not really that imperative. I was unaware of how often I did it. Anytime I perceive some kind of threat, be it through a joke or criticism, my guard goes up, and I get caught up in rationalizing or justifying myself. Now that I see how much I'm doing it, it's getting old very quickly. My main focus was trying to understand where the defensiveness came from, but maybe l ought to just try and stop the behavior as it hear it coming out of my mouth.