Is that God knocking at my door?

It's that time of year again. The Jehovah's Witnesses are out in droves, asking people to come to the 'Memorial' of Jesus' death. They don't do easter, so this is their substitute. My husband's parents are still active in the church, so the pressure for us to attend is on. My mother in law asked ever so sweetly if I would be coming, hoping that I would return 'to the fold.' We've been getting Watchtower magazines stuffed in our door, and from the in-laws. It's enough to make me want to scream. While I realize their intentions are pure, and they truly believe they would be saving our lives if we went back to the JW way, I can't help but be irritated. I respect their right to hold their beliefs, and I wish they would respect mine.

We all are, in some way, on a journey for meaning and truth in our lives. I simply cannot fathom that there is a god out there who has one group of people that are his chosen sheep. I cannot understand how a loving god would use the human race as a test- who will follow satan, and who will follow god. Don't get me started on the contradictions in the bible or the story of Adam and Eve. Personally, I think the bible is nothing more than man's search for meaning, on paper. There are hundreds of 'Christian' sects, all promising that they lead the way to eternal salvation. It just doesn't wash with me. Each is convinced they hold the truth- but what if everyone has their own truth??

I don't know what happens when we die. I don't fear hellfire, shit, I don't even believe in it. But is there some sort of life after death, or do we just go into eternal sleep, and allow the life cycle to continue? This gift of life can be confusing and scary sometimes. After my husband turned 30, he started to agonize over his mortality. He's frightened by the unknown. It doesn't help that he was raised by a religion that used fear as a brainwashing tool.

The big questions. Is this life all there is? What is it all about? Is there a higher power? Why am I sitting here at this moment in time, and not somewhere, or someone else? As much as I would like answers, part of the interest for me, lays in the mystery of it all. That's why I love Tai Chi so much. It's not about anything but being at one with your body and your spirit. Sometimes I think I'd like to travel down the New Age road, and see what that's all about. I'm fascinated by ancient mysticism. I love reading about other religions and ancient philosophy...And I don't think it's the devil that's fostering these interests.

I could go on for hours, but I have a shrink to see and some errands to run. Hope I don't get struck down by a lightening bolt ;)

Why are random words being linked to a search engine???

After getting my computer scanned, it's apparent that I have a spyware invasion. Every web page I go on, I get these words linked to a search engine, for no apparent reason. Thanks to a helpful tip, I sought out some spyware software. Hopefully this will fix the problem. Guess virus protection just doesn't cover it anymore.