Life's Little Bitch Slaps

My worst case scenario for this week- it's happened.

I'm done with day one of my enrollment, and so far, I am about $170 in the hole, not to mention my time...12 hours in total today. That includes my apartment rental, some gas, and necessities. I didn't make a fucking dime. We were told that we would be seeing a total of 120 people between the 3 of us, so the potential to make good money was high. I saw 4 people today. One of the women went home, because she saw like 9 people and sold 2 or 3 policies. I enrolled one FSA (terminology you don't need to know) but then found out I didn't get paid for that portion. Tomorrow, we have 9 people signed up between the remaining 2 of us. Wednesday may be busy because it's our last day, or it may continue to be a money sucking hole... I'm hoping for the former.

I'm so angry that I'm calm. That sounds so contradictory, but really, I can hardly react, so I'm just numbed up. But we were lied to about the size of the job, we're not getting any expenses covered, and two of us are not trained. There's only so much tinkering on the system and reading brochures one can do. That's what an enrollment class is for. My boss is running his company into the damn ground, and it's not just me that sees it. I was hoping this enrollment would help me establish connections with the other company that is subcontracting this job, but if I don't make any money, that doesn't look good for them. But my boss as my manager for this other company is required to fulfill certain duties, and he's done none of them with me. It's all going to blow up in one hell of a shit storm one of these days... Cracks have already begun to seep through.

Ugh, so much negative. I want more positive energy in my life. I need more. I have a photo shoot ( where at least I'm guaranteed a rate) for the website, but I haven't told Aaron yet, because things are tense due to the stress level in our house. He doesn't love it, and I don't want it to be something that causes anymore tension right now... But I had so much fun last time- and it got the wheels turning in my head. There is opportunity for anything out there. It's a matter of preparing for it and then finding it... I have a partner in crime who's dreaming big with me, and we have fun bantering back and forth about it. But we want to take it to another level. (and we will, ODE)

I'm wiped. Time for this girl to try and relax.