Happy Valentimes Day

I thought this was absolutely hilarious.

My apologies to all the kittens I've killed unwittingly, lol.
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Valentine's Day never used to hold much meaning for me. I remember during college, my single friends and I would go out and get wasted on V-Day. When I got married the first time, we didn't celebrate anything because of the JW beliefs. Before I met Aaron, I didn't have any reason to treasure the commercial holiday. He is a romantic, and we have had some fantastic experiences on V-Day. This year, it's going to be low key. Money is tight, so there will be no bouquets or expensive chocolates. We gave each other a small budget to do something creative with, and decided to watch a girlie movie and do fondue tonight. Everything has been so stressful for us lately. I hope that tonight we can relax, and rekindle some of the passion we have for each other that's been been laying dormant, in large part, because of my state of mind.

Speaking of state of mind, I had another appointment with the counselor last night. I have been holding on to a lot of resentment, guilt, sadness, insecurities and disappointments. I truly believe that until I come to terms and gain some closure, I will be stuck in this cycle of depression and anxiety. When I told my counselor this, he asked me if I was sure I wanted to go that deep, and I responded with an emphatic yes! It's not going to be easy to look back, but I am ridden with guilt every day, and I need to clean out the shit that I've been harboring.

So, here's to the long road of discovery, and recovery.