I'm still here

God, it feels like forever since I've been online. It's unreal how dependent I've become on modern technology. I've missed my email and my blog, my mindless browsing, and my online support groups. So much has happened since I wrote last. It feels like it's been months!

First the exciting news. Aaron and I are going to Cancun for our real 'honeymoon' on June 6th. I am so excited. We're staying at an all inclusive resort, and Aaron's dad is fitting the bill. A week of paradise that is much deserved. I've also recieved my work status card, and have filed for my social security number. We have a meeting with the INS May 4th, to prove our marriage is valid, and then I should have green card status. Finally, after all these years, I'll be among the working class again, instead of lurking in the shadows. It's both a scary and comforting thought.

I had a visit with my pain doctor, and I read him a long letter I had written, detailing my frusterations, concerns and questions. In no uncertain terms I told him I was willing to try anything to get some relief. I was on so much pain medication, and still feeling significant pain- it seemed redundant. So, I was taken off of the Fentanyl patch, which reduced my painkiller intake by over half. I felt a little withdrawal, but it wasn't too bad. I don't feel any more pain since stopping the patch, the Percocet seems to work just as well, without the added side effects. It's still just a cover up to try and hide the pain. I wish we could get to the root of the problem. Anyway, after I spilled my guts to the doctor, he suggested I see a surgeon. I was shocked. Surgery was an option?? It threw Aaron and I both into a tailspin, panicking about the what ifs. However, we just got home from the appointment with the surgeon, and he doesn't think the pain I'm experiencing is coming from the herniated disks or the degenerative disk disease. So, no surgery. Instead, I'm going to have a nerve block done around the area that is herniated, and that will be able to definitively tell us if the nerves are impinged.

The surgeon was kind of a dick, I thought. He acted as if it was ridiculous that I was even there. He didn't see my case as a candidate for surgery (which was a relief, the surgery option was a scary one.) He also said that some people never recover from severe whiplash, and they can't really 'fix' it. Gee, thanks for the encouragement doc. He suggested a nerve block, which is another injection. I felt pretty deflated and extremely frusterated. I have had the following diagnoses over the last 3 years:
-Cervical radiculopathy
-Facet disease
-Degenerative disk disease
-Cervogenic headaches
-Occipital neuralgia
-Loss of cervical lordosis
- Nerve Damage


I see my pain doctor at the end of the month, and I will know by then if the nerve block has helped. If it doesn't, it's back to the drawing board- likely with injections and nerve ablation. Maybe it's time to seek a second opinion from a good orthopaedist. It's been 3 years since the accident, and I still don't know what is wrong with me. The doctors ( I counted and I've been to 5 ) keep throwing out suggestions hoping something will catch, but ultimately, it seems as though they are grasping at straws. Is there any way to get my pain under control, without having to rely on prescription drugs? I don't want to be on this shit forever. I guess I can only keep on trying, and dealing as best I can. There has to be an answer somewhere...

Ok, off to spend some quality time with my husband. No more stress today. (I hope.)