When your husband says ' we need counseling...'

I hadn't been writing in my blog much, but it's part of my own therapy, and now I'm letting everything out in a flood of words and emotions.

Trying to resolve our argument, I apologized for any attitude I had earlier this morning... And then he told me that he feels like I always concentrate on his mistakes or flaws, and never notice any of the good things he does. I was floored because that is so not how I feel, and I've always felt so grateful to have Aaron in my life. But I know that sometimes I don't realize that the way I say things can be biting. What makes this even more complicated is that I feel like he's been dogging on me constantly too. We had been doing fine. It's been in the last few weeks that things have become tense and strained. When I told Aaron that I was feeling the same way, he didn't get it at all. I got the idea that he thinks it's all me... So, he said it was time for marriage counseling. And if we are on completely different planes, which is how it feels right now, then I couldn't agree with him more. We need a third party to come in and help us communicate. I hope that this isn't the start of a slow, painful break up... It's a fear I carry with me; I am afraid that we won't beat the odds. I hate the very thought of us not being together, but since I'm venting, I might as well be completely honest.

Us getting counseling is a good thing right?? I mean, I know that my counselor has helped me and I'm so glad I swallowed my pride and have stuck with it. I hope that we're just going through a rough patch and that a counselor will give us tools to better our communication. I don't want to acknowledge the other fear at all. That's worrying about something that certainly isn't looming in front of me. It's just a fear based on my past failures.

I've given myself one hell of a headache. Time to lie down.