I have to praise you...

For a long time, I felt like no one I knew could possibly understand what living with chronic pain was like. Even though common sense told me I wasn't alone, there was no one I spoke to on a regular basis who I thought could relate. When I started the withdrawal process, the feelings of isolation only got more intense. My phone went virtually unanswered, and my only link to the outside world was my computer. I would shower only when absolutely necessary, because even that seemed like such a chore.

But now that I'm stabilized and off some of the drugs, I'm in a more positive headspace. I am by no means a constant ray of sunshine, but I'm smiling and laughing again. I'm rediscovering not just myself, but Aaron as well. I'm back in touch with a couple of friends. My worries about the next tapering step are still there, but I feel like I'm a little better equipped to deal with the impending opiate withdrawals.

Yesterday, I got an email from someone on myspace... We'd never spoken, but I had put her on my friends list when I saw she lived in Indiana. She had been checking out my page, and noticed that we had some things in common- just one of which was chronic neck pain. As it turns out, we don't live very far apart, so we decided to meet for coffee this afternoon. First meetings can be a little nerve wracking, but instantly I saw similarities between us. What initially struck me was how thin we both were- yet another side effect of pain medication. She had a funky style and I could tell right away that this girl was openminded and interesting. We spent the afternoon sipping on coffee, and sharing stories about our lives. The time flew by. Never in a million years did I think I'd meet someone I could identify with so well. It was almost uncanny. She recently had neck fusion surgery and recommended her doctor. I've never seen an orthopedic surgeon. I've been to physiatrists, neurologists, pain management specialists, neurosurgeons... But never an orthopedist. From the sound of it, we have similar problems with our cervical spine, so it can't hurt to seek another opinion.

After a four day marathon, the basement is looking beautiful. The bar is nearly complete, the hardwood is down, the shuffleboard has arrived and the giant television is installed. We picked out furniture and carpet this weekend. Everything will be done just in time for Aaron's asshole friends to come over and trash it. That sounds so bitchy, I know. I take it back. Last year I had a great time at our Superbowl party watching everyone get stupid. In fact, I seem to remember blogging about how well it went. It's natural for me to be a little nervous. I can be the epitome of anti social sometimes, so I just have to take that for what it is- a behavioral and thought pattern I want to change.

Change. It's constant. I have a seemingly never ending list of things I want to change about myself. But usually, I fail to give myself credit for the differences I've made in my life. So for today, I'm patting myself on the back.