Day One

The taper plan has changed. I am now to be off the Valium by Monday. The doctor had originally said two weeks taking one a day, but I got a phone call informing me that I needed to go cold turkey, starting next week. I've been researching online, and I hope this doctor knows what he is doing, because for someone that has been on 2-3 of those suckers a day for over a year, I'm going to be jumping off very quickly. My anxiety is through the roof. I have to force myself to think about other things... We are off to the grocery store to do some much needed shopping, and then a night filled with tv surfing. I am so grateful to have Aaron home, because during the day it's hell. I must find ways to fill my time... I can't live these next weeks and months is constant fear- I have to confront it. And just deal with it.

Aaron and I are set up for a marriage counselor, I'll be seeing my own a lot more often, and I am just going to try and tough out the physical shit and deal with the mental once and for all. I have so much more to say, and will get it out later. I was bursting inside when blogger was down and I couldn't post all day.

Also, a big thank you to the women who have responded in one way or another... Words can't adequately describe my feelings.

This was Day One.