Move Along

The home office that I thought had gone by the wayside has taken shape. Aaron got it painted this week, and it's now a beautiful shade of smoky purple. I had a vision when we first moved in, of a room filled with bright, jewel tones where I could lay and read on a bed of pillows, or sit at my cherry desk and look out into the backyard. I imagined it to be a place to foster creativity, and even with just the paint change and the relocation of the computer, I know I will be spending a lot of time in this room.

The basement has taken on a life of it's own, and it's become a money eating monster. My husband is burning the candle at both ends trying to get everything done by the Superbowl. He has just over two weeks, and there have been more than a few snags so far. I hardly see him, although I hear him and his friends sawing, drilling and hammering. Every few hours he comes upstairs and checks on me, asking how his sexy girl is doing. I tell him I don't feel sexy, and he smiles, kisses me, and tells me it's ok... I don't know how he is handling all of this stress, but he's managing it very well.

Our first marriage counseling sesssion was this week. It was the typical, 'tell me why you're here.' I cried, of course, and Aaron was the strong, stoic one as always. He was very open with the therapist, which is hard for him to do. This man never ceases to amaze me with his endless patience and unconditional love. He shows so much strength. We will be going once a week to begin with, and see how it progesses. I will also be seeing a new counselor solo too- hopefully a woman closer to home.

We just found out that we're leaving for Negril, Jamaica in a month. I'm excited, but nervous- I don't know how I will feel. If you have to feel crappy though, I guess there's no better place to do it than at a tropical resort. I am fortunate to have in-laws who are so generous. They may not believe the same things as I do, but Aaron's family have taken me in as one of their own. His dad actually had a dependence on Percocet, and got off of it, even though he struggles with chronic pain.

My body is going through changes. Maintaining weight is a battle-I have no appetite and am forcing food down. My period has lasted over a week, which is totally abnormal for me. Digestion was a huge problem- I won't go into more detail than that- but I'm already seeing major improvements. I've started getting 7 hours of sleep again, which feels soooooo good.

My emotions are still very volatile. I continue to shed tears and deal with an anxiety overload, but try to tell myself that this is all part of the process. I am growing restless with being alone most of the time, but haven't figured out what to do about it. Not everyone can handle being friends with a woman like me... And I have to let that be ok.