Balance

Think. Think. Think. I can't not write because my mind is overloaded, so I come to my place of solace to try and do some self examination.

I know where most of my behavior and thought processes come from. I know that I didn't learn to cope properly with my emotions from an early age, I didn't learn the proper social skills and the results have been at times, devastating... What kills me is that I am unable to sustain normal, healthy relationships with people. With the exception of my little sister, I keep virtually no contact with my family. It's too painful, is my reasoning. My friendships are usually intense and fleeting, often leaving me feeling like the most worthless person in the world, further feeding into the cycle. Losing friends is never easy, although with some it's been more painful than with others. But, people enter one's life for a reason, and that is the lesson I need to remember.


The word that keeps entering my mind is balance. I am on a quest for balance in my life. Another chapter ends as the next begins.