Revelations

I met up with my niece Gabbi and my girl, Tiff for a walk today. Gabrielle is the sweetest two year old I know, and for the hour were were at the park, it was like seeing things through the eyes of an innocent. Gabbi inspired me in a way I didn't expect. What a welcome surprise.

Spring is finally here. Outside, the air is filled with the scent of freshly cut grass. I've been walking every day, and each time I go, I marvel at the wonderful world around me. Simple things like children's voices and daffodils make me smile. Feeling the sunshine on my face warms my entire body and helps me feel strong.

After much contemplation and discussions with both my counselor and Aaron, I decided to go back on myspace. The decision to cancel my account was made on emotion, not reason. It's not that the page didn't represent me; it represented only what I was comfortable showing. But after days of no sleep and friendships gone awry, I really felt like I was done with people. I was hurting so much, and felt so alone. That was my reasoning. Completely counterproductive, mind you. Just another example of all or nothing thinking that I'm working so hard to reprogram. I want to be honest about who I am- the good and the bad.