Cakewalk

No more ultimatums, he said. Life was too short, and he couldn't keep her hostage if she felt a need for space. He had spent days thinking, and decided that in a sense, she was right. She had been through a lot in the last few years. This was her life, and it was up to her to live it as she wished, and how she saw fit. She needed to make herself happy and chase her dreams- he couldn't do it for her. With no malice in his voice at all, he told her to go wherever she wanted and to take as much time as she needed. He had declared his love, but she had soul searching to do.
She felt like she could finally breathe a sigh of relief...Her mind began wandering, thinking about her upcoming road trip. Not many people understood her desire to get away, alone. But she didn't care. She was exhilarated at the thought of doing something purely for herself, by herself.

Today is the big day. You'd think I'd be used to these stupid spinal injections after all these years, but I'm still anxious. It seems like a waste of time and money to me, but there is protocol to follow when one is going through the medical and insurance system. They can't open me up without doing certain diagnostics first. That's basically all this is- a precursor to surgery.

Yesterday, as planned I went to Barnes and Noble for a few hours. I grabbed the newest copies of "Skeptic" and "Pyschology Today" as well as a couple of books I've been wanting to read. I got some more writing done, as I sat with my laptop and overpriced Chai Latte, watching people go about their own business. When I was tired of the scene, and no longer able to form sentences, I headed over to Victoria's Secret to get my new hoodie. I noticed the little thrill I got when paying at the register... It was the tiniest bit of retail therapy.

Now, I am laying in bed, nervous and irritable. I'm not scheduled for the procedure until 11, so I have hours to work myself up- which is not the smartest idea. Thank god I opted for sedation, because my nerves are on overdrive. I feel like I've had six cups of coffee, and I haven't had even a sip. It's amazing what the mind and body will do under stress. I have to relax, or this whole ordeal will be bigger than it needs to be.
I'm going to pop in a favorite cd and let my mind wander anywhere but the present. Once I'm relaxed, this thing will be a piece of cake...

Wait, I hate cake.