Wound Up

This morning was a living hell. From 11:30 last night, until 4:30 this morning, I couldn't control my emotions at all. I suspect it was a panic attack, brought on because I was being so hard on myself. The tears wouldn't stop. The thoughts kept circling around in my head, over and over. Eventually, Aaron woke up and wanted to take me to the hospital, because I was so upset and couldn't calm down. He finally convinced me to take a pill ( the said medication that was causing part of the worries) so that I could calm down. I finally fell into a fitful sleep for a couple of hours.

Upon waking, everything came rushing back. I immediately put a call into my counselor, as well as my physician to explain about the lost prescription. I am waiting to hear back from both of them. I don't dare call my boss until I regain composure. (That is, if I still have a job). My anxiety is still sky high, and I need to do something to bring it down, because I can't sit here, crying and agonizing all day. Tai Chi would help. So would taking a walk. But I feel so stuck, I know I'm going to have to force myself to do anything. I've hit lots of highs and lows in my life, but this particular incident has really thrown me for a loop. But life goes on, whether I want it to or not, and I have to deal with this somehow. Please, please, let me do something constructive, instead of destructive. Beating myself up won't help matters. It's just the thing I know how to do best.


Update- I spoke to my boss, and the license isn't an issue for him. Once again, another famous overreaction by Alli. Just as my long suffering husband said, everything will be okay. Time to get some sleep and study for that fucking learner's permit.

Oh, and did I mention I found the 'lost' prescription safely tucked away in my underwear drawer??? Silly, silly girl.