Test of Strength

My doctor has decided to keep me stablized at the current regimen until we return from Jamaica. He suggested I stay on the painkillers indefinitely, but I was adamant that I try life without them. So, we came up with a two week taper plan that will start on our next appointment- March 3rd. The day after we get back from Negril. It's going to be VITAL that I take full advantage of our vacation and not spend that week stressing about coming home and detoxing. That means preparing now. I've joined an online support group, which has provided an abundance of resources and listening ears. I'll need to make sure that I reach out to friends and family during the tough days, and rally a 'team' around me. I'm not the first (and I won't be the last) person to struggle with this.

As nice as my doctor is, he could have been far more encouraging during our visit. I understand the importance of communicating the risks and possibilities to a patient when she is about to try something new. But the good doctor said point blank that I was going to be in an incredible amount of pain during and after the opiate taper. In fact, he did a damn good job of drilling it into my head. I'm now faced with the task of accepting it and not worrying about it for the next month. The more I think about being in pain, the more severe the pain will be. This isn't just a physical challenge. Psychologically, I have to be in the right headspace going forth.

Take a deep breath...